Syrin's Journal, Day 78
I often have regrets about leaving home. Not a day goes by that I don't think of my family, and the way we left things. I don't think any of them really understood my reasons, but then that's to be expected when you come home ranting about receiving visions from a mysterious goddess. They probably thought I was insane. That goes doubly for my mother. I wish the last thing I said to her had been pleasant. I wish she knew how much I loved her, and appreciated her for everything she did for us. I can't even remember the last thing I did say, only that I shouted, and it was something I didn't mean. Why am I such a fool? At least I will always have Elora, bless her soul. My twin. My other half. My best friend. Always supporting me no matter what decisions I make. A small consolation, though. No amount of her support will bring our mother back.
I know now why Greylin left home. Winny left before he did, bent on finding me and bringing me home. Apparently, Mother had been acting strangely since I left. She wanted to take me home, to make things better. Eventually, she sent for Greylin to join her. But by that time, it was too late. Our mother, stricken in her grief over her children leaving, ended herself, something that seems so unlike her, so impossible for her to commit, I wouldn't have believed it had I not read Greylin's mind. He was telling me the truth when he told me that. Our mother is dead, and it is because I left home that it happened. I wasn't there for her. I couldn't help her. I was the first domino.
But still I cannot return home. I have too many responsibilities, too many obligations, too many people to help here. All at the behest of my goddess. Even if my family hates me for it, even if they think this other business is more important to me than my family. That could not be further from the truth, and yet they may never understand that. Not that I can blame them.
I'm not entirely sure what happened after I learned this news. Or rather, I do remember, but it was mostly a blur. I spoke to Elloise, told her she should return to Daggerford, to be safe, that she deserved a better life than the danger she was putting herself in. I upset her, and she left crying. I really am an ass. By the time Sophia returned saying we had to return to Waterdeep for something, I didn't have the drive to refuse. The mages were kind enough to allow us use of the teleportation network, and so travel was simple. March remained behind, though, helping the mages at Moongleam Tower, as Tessith's replacement. So, we left her behind and followed Sophia's lead.
Ah, Sophia. Where do I start with her? I've only known her several days now, and yet I feel as though I've known her far longer. Perhaps that's a result of the past and future times we've already journeyed together, and failed, according to Wolyo. Who can say? She is a special one, though. So carefree and aloof most of the time, and yet she always seems to know exactly how to cheer you up. Even if that way might be a little unconventional compared to most. If not for her, if not for what she said to me when I told her all of this, I might still be wallowing in my own misery. Thank the Queen, she is a wonderful friend. At the very least, I can keep moving forward now.
We met Sophia's father, Zevran. He seems like an interesting enough man, although not quite how she described him. Here I thought he was supposed to be this charming, flirtatious man, who had a penchant for stealing her dates, and yet the elf we met was withdrawn and guarded. Perhaps the result of this mission he's on, but still not like what I imagined.
From what we learned, the reason we returned to Waterdeep was for Sophia to attend this ball she is supposed to be working at, as some sort of entertainer. Could have been a nice enough time, and yet life never goes that way for us. Zevran is planning an assassination for this ball, a man named Rubra who has apparently been trafficking bugbear slaves. Easy enough to convince Kuguret to assist, in that case, although I'm not quite sure how our bugbear friend is going to acclimate to a fancy ball. I look out of place myself as it is, but at least I can turn into a bird. Kug is not so lucky.
Whatever happens at this ball tomorrow, I'm certain things will go terribly wrong and we will all almost die. Seems to be the general pattern for this party. When this is all said and done, I am going to need a stiff drink. I don't usually drink a lot, but with how things have been going lately, I can give in for a change. Maybe I'll ask Sophia to come out with me. She lives in Waterdeep, and she seems like the person who knows where all the seediest, dissolute bars in the city are. Right now, seedy and dissolute is just what I need.